Praxis Speaks

Blame is, for the most part, a waste of time and energy.  While we sit around blaming others for our current predicament, we could be figuring out a solution.  I work from my home, so unfortunately I have constant exposure to the news, and I must admit, I’ve become somewhat of a news junkie as of late. 

As I write this, we are in the midst of a great financial crisis, not only in the United States, but on a global scale.  Housing prices have tumbled, unemployment has increased, job creation is on a steady decline each month, and the stock market has taken a beating which is negatively affecting investments.  This is especially disturbing for older Americans who may see their retirement savings get hit substantially.  Likely, the situation will get worse before it gets better.  Economists and politicians alike are referring to this as the greatest financial crisis since the Great Depression of 1929.  Clearly, things look bleak on the horizon.  One would think that now would be the time for cooperation and decisive action.   

With this being said, what is most disconcerting about this whole situation lies not in the dire predictions of financial experts, but rather the intensity with which partisan politics is being played out.  I must say here and now that this forum is not the place for political debates or propaganda.  I am not advocating or admonishing the philosophy of Republicans or Democrats, rather I am making an observation regarding the entrenchment of partisanship in general and specifically the mind’s predeliction, if not need, to find a scapegoat whenever a situation turns sour.  In fact, psychologists believe blame to be a unique hominid behavior.  Further evidence would suggest that it may be some inherent form of survival mechanism in human organizational systems.  Clearly, we seem to be preconditioned to place blame whenever circumstances are less than optimal.  Perhaps then, blame can never be completely avoided and maybe that’s perfectly OK.  After all, when the history books are written we need to have winners and losers.  People need to own up to their mistakes, and sometimes blame is the impetus for understanding who is at fault and for getting those people to admit to their mistakes.  Self accountability is a sign of growth and maturity, both individually and in societal terms.    

But what isn’t OK is when pragmatism and cooperation take a back seat to blame.  There’s a time and place for everything and blame should never precede resolution.  Over the last few days, each end of the political spectrum has been pointing fingers at the other side.  This is simply not conducive to finding a solution to the mess we are in as a country.  It has gotten so ridiculous that news commentators are actually calling for an end to all the bickering between sides so we can find a way of dealing with this mess.  To make matters worse, we’re just a few weeks away from electing a new President of the United States and this compounds the blame game ten fold.  Of course, the candidates want their constituencies to know they are doing ”the right thing” in order to garner more votes.  To an extent, we need to know who is doing the right thing so we can make the best informed decision about our votes.  On the other hand, there is a certain threshold that we long ago exceeded and now only serves as a constant reminder that progress seems secondary to castigation.  

If nothing else, this historical scene should serve as a reminder that in our personal lives we should always remember that if we want to resolve a conflict within our own microcosms, whether it’s a problem with a coworker, spouse, or next door neighbor, we must first and foremost be committed to putting our differences aside and attempt to see the situation from the perspective of the other person.  We must begin to look at conflict not as a chance to win an argument, but rather as a chance to learn about other points of view.  Of course, we must stand up for our ideologies, but first we have to understand the position on the other side of the table in order to ascertain if our position is convergent or divergent.  Often, our differences with another are merely semantical and we may find that even though we don’t describe the world in the same terms, we in fact have the same goals.  If we play the blame game, however, our view will be clouded with resentment and we will never make progress toward a mutually amiable solution.  In my experience, when conflict is approached in a constructive way, people are much more likely to admit to their mistakes because they don’t feel tension from the other side.  Think of a tug of war–the harder one side pulls, the harder the other side pulls back.  Sure, one side will eventually end up in the mud while the other stays clean, but why not try dropping the rope sometime and see what happens?  –BB

Welcome to Praxis Conflict Management Services’ blog site!  We hope this will be a useful resource for any professionals or individuals interested in the emerging field of Alternative Dispute Resolution.  Our main focus is on productive communication techniques that will yield greater understanding between individuals.  When mutual understanding is achieved, everyone benefits because win/win outcomes are more likely.  This translates to business, personal relationships, and community connectedness.  We offer this blog in the spirit of cooperation and a true commitment to reducing destructive conflict patterns.  For more information about PCMS’ philosophy, please visit our website at http://SC-ConflictManagement.com.