Praxis Speaks

Recently, I was part of a panel discussion at the annual meeting of the South Carolina Association for Conflict Resolution. The moderator asked someone on the panel the question “do you apply dispute resolution techniques in your personal life?” Good question, I thought, because whatever knowledge you gain in any phase of your life contributes to your general knowledge base. You just have to apply it. The skills you learn as a Dispute Resolution professional or in conflict management training will potentially affect every part of your life. One of the basic concepts is that conflict is not necessarily negative. It can bring issues to the table, clear the air, and if approached positively, can lead to more understanding and compassion toward another’s point of view. When you understand that people often have hidden agendas, you can try to read between the lines of a conversation to understand the other person’s real motivation, which may not be apparent in their words or actions. The ability to determine your own and another person’s conflict style—whether you’re talking to your mother, your spouse or partner, your child, a worker, your manager, a member of your congregation, or the clerk at the grocery store—can facilitate a better understanding of the situation. These skills can bring an authenticity and meaning to all of your interactions, and make your relationships more fulfilling. It’s not always easy to apply what you’ve learned and to put these techniques into practice—but since life is full of conflict; you’ll get lots of opportunities to perfect your skills. Understanding the framework of conflict can help you put it into perspective and feel more control and balanced in every phase of your life.–Donna Roberson